Tami's Thoughts

So shutterfly.com is doing this promotion where if you blog about the promotion you can get 50 Christmas cards for free! It's a really awesome idea because the thought of trying to make my own cards and put pictures and stuff in there is almost enough to drive a woman crazy! With this, you can upload your pictures and they'll either send the cards out on picture paper or card stock. Each card comes with an envelope too. Simple! There are so many gorgeous options to choose from and if you're a traditionalist like I am, then you can find cards that actually say "Merry Christmas". Being from the south means tradition and tradition means Merry Christmas. Check it out y'all! shutterfly.com

I feel kinda lost right now. One of my best friends is getting married in January and I'm thrilled for her. We're talking over the moon type of thrilled here. I'm just disappointed. She's been in town several times and I know her and our other best friend have met up a few times and I'm hurt that I wasn't included in that. I mean I know I don't always have money when people want to do something and I feel bad about that. I just wish that after they had done the lunch/dinner thing they would've called or come by and asked me to hang out with them. Since I don't have a job anymore I'm most always at home. I hardly go anywhere unless its to take my cousin to work or to my mom's (cause your mom won't make you feel like a bigger loser than you already do). She's having a lingerie shower on Saturday and I was supposed to ride with our mutual best friend, but MBF (mutual best friend) is going to see a musical and just staying the night up th

I think this is purple. I might be mistaken, but it looks pretty purple to me. Half of this entry will be written in purple to support domestic violence. The other half will be written in pink of breast cancer support. I don't talk much about this, but I have been there. Granted it wasn't as bad as what a lot of women go through, but it was domestic violence all the same. I was living in Oregon with my soon to be husband at the time. It came out of nowhere. I went into our bedroom to wake him up one morning and he punched me in the side of my head. I was in shock. I had done nothing to provoke him and couldn't believe that someone I loved would hit me like that. I became one of those women who made up stupid excuses for the bruises she had. I shouldn't have had to do that! You should be able to trust your partner not to beat you like that and he did. I told his mom what was going on and all she did was tell him to stop. She should have seen what was going on! We lived

Our county is having a weight loss competition starting Saturday. To say I'm a little afraid is an understatement. I haven't been to a gym in years and I'm actually afraid to go. I know I need to do this and I am going to do this I'm just... scared. I know that probably sounds silly, but to those of you who have been in this position before you understand that fear all too well. I was in my bedroom the other night, getting ready to take a shower, and I looked at myself in the mirror and wanted to curl up and die. I mean I know I'm fat (let's not sugarcoat it, ladies), but I didn't think it had gotten that bad. I just stared at myself before realizing that yes.. that fat girl in the mirror was me. It's time to change. I want to do this. I HAVE to do this. I don't want to be the "fat friend" who makes everyone else feel better about themselves. I don't want to be the "fat friend" who makes everyone laugh because

I went back to the doctor this past Friday to see Marty (the talking doctor as I call him) and Dr. Peckham (the drug doctor). I love going to see Marty. He asks me questions about things and I answer them and he offers advice. This past session I wish he would have just let me talk about what was going on, at times I don't like having someone ask me questions about what is going on and have me answer them like that. It's a bit annoying. I would like to have touched on Matthew's death a bit more than we did because it got brought up at the end of session and I ended up crying. That's the first time I've cried in session with him and really the first time I've let myself show too much emotion regarding Matthew. It was hard when I found out he had died. I loved him dearly and still do. As for Dr. Peckham , he seems to base his dosage of medicine on a person's weight instead of their tolerance to it. At one point he had me taking 140mg of Geodon . I can't h