Another medicine? I think not doc!
I went back to the doctor this past Friday to see Marty (the talking doctor as I call him) and Dr. Peckham (the drug doctor). I love going to see Marty. He asks me questions about things and I answer them and he offers advice. This past session I wish he would have just let me talk about what was going on, at times I don't like having someone ask me questions about what is going on and have me answer them like that. It's a bit annoying. I would like to have touched on Matthew's death a bit more than we did because it got brought up at the end of session and I ended up crying. That's the first time I've cried in session with him and really the first time I've let myself show too much emotion regarding Matthew. It was hard when I found out he had died. I loved him dearly and still do.
As for Dr. Peckham, he seems to base his dosage of medicine on a person's weight instead of their tolerance to it. At one point he had me taking 140mg of Geodon. I can't handle that much. 60 mg puts me to sleep within 2 hours of taking it so that wasn't good. I tried to take it at supper one night, just to break up the number of pills I was taking. Took the 60 mg one at dinner and was going to take the 80 mg one when I got home after work. What a mistake that was! I wound up almost falling asleep at work and having to resort to drinking a red bull to stay awake. I then decided I would drop back down to just 60 mg on my own and hope that he wouldn't get too upset.
Friday, he did his usual questions and when I told him I'm still having mood swings he said he wanted to put me on Topamax for mood stabilization. I know this medicine can be used for migraines and seizures but I didn't know it could be used for mood stabilization. I've been looking into it and I'm a little nervous about taking it. I'm seriously considering going to El Dorado and talking to the people at their mental health unit to see what doctor they use for their medicines. I don't really think the Geodon is helping me that much and I don't want to have to take 3 medicines at night.
In any case I hope that they are able to help and I can finally find something to help with the depression and bi-polar going on in my head. I feel crazy for admitting that I have that. I feel like damaged goods actually. =(
As for Dr. Peckham, he seems to base his dosage of medicine on a person's weight instead of their tolerance to it. At one point he had me taking 140mg of Geodon. I can't handle that much. 60 mg puts me to sleep within 2 hours of taking it so that wasn't good. I tried to take it at supper one night, just to break up the number of pills I was taking. Took the 60 mg one at dinner and was going to take the 80 mg one when I got home after work. What a mistake that was! I wound up almost falling asleep at work and having to resort to drinking a red bull to stay awake. I then decided I would drop back down to just 60 mg on my own and hope that he wouldn't get too upset.
Friday, he did his usual questions and when I told him I'm still having mood swings he said he wanted to put me on Topamax for mood stabilization. I know this medicine can be used for migraines and seizures but I didn't know it could be used for mood stabilization. I've been looking into it and I'm a little nervous about taking it. I'm seriously considering going to El Dorado and talking to the people at their mental health unit to see what doctor they use for their medicines. I don't really think the Geodon is helping me that much and I don't want to have to take 3 medicines at night.
In any case I hope that they are able to help and I can finally find something to help with the depression and bi-polar going on in my head. I feel crazy for admitting that I have that. I feel like damaged goods actually. =(
Comments
Your smiling face and beautiful person you are inside and out!!
I pray all the medicine works to help- I also battled depression before, the only thing I found that helped the best is my Bible!!
The Book with all the answers!!
The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want. Psalm 23:1
God Bless you!!
balancing the right medicine can be hard...and it's a long process to find the right "fix".
sigh.
and no matter how you look at it, mental illness sucks.
hang in there hun!